Oh my God. It’s just 4:30am and I’m already wide awake. It seems that even with getting plastered I’m such a failure. Maybe it’s the stress, or probably the inescapable feeling that I’ll be spending the next four Saturdays in the office. Shit.

Maybe a cup of coffee would make my day better…

As I open a sachet of instant coffee and pour it over a cup of hot water I can’t help but think how much the coffee would taste better if I wasn’t too lazy to buy one of those coffee machines. Probably the aroma itself would be satisfying enough to perk me up every morning. Even a vivid imagination of fresh coffee beans in the morning would not spare me of the bad aftertaste lingering in my mouth from a night of drinking.

5:00am

The gym is still closed a this time. Maybe I could go for a good run first to start my day off. So I put on my gym shoes, grabbed my iPod, and headed straight out to the streets.

It’s been a while since the last time I was able to appreciate Saturday mornings. The cool air in the morning, virtually no cars rushing at all, not so many people around rushing to catch the next bus, the way how the sky majestically changes in color after every track in my playlist.

Now Playing: Fuel – Metallica

Hmmmnnn… and the sky is turning orange already. I guess this is my cue to run faster. Faster and faster I run. My eyes are locked on the 7-Eleven signage at the end of the block. Just passed it. My heart beats faster, like it’s trying to keep up with every beat of Lars Ulrich’s drums. Sweat getting into my eyes won’t stop me from the rhythm that I’m in right now. I imagine myself looking like a petty shoplifter swiping something from 7-Eleven and running away from cashier. Hahahaha. I think too much. But it’s fun imagining things like that. It makes you feel like a child again. Like in those afternoons where I wear my blanket as a cape and pretend that I’m Batman jumping over one building after another. I never did like Superman, I think he’s so over-rated. I’m thinking way too much again.

Now Playing: Sex Bomb – Tom Jones

Shit, hahaha. Why do I even have this song. Next track please.

Now Playing: Drive – Incubus

That’s better. Just right for slowing down my pace. As I slow down I can feel my heart pounding on my chest like it’s yelling at me something like “Whaddaf*ck are you thinking? Running so early in the morning after a night of drinking! Are you trying to blow an artery or something?”. Hahahaha, maybe my life ain’t so boring after all. As long as all my thoughts get recorded as well.

Huff… Puff… I’m getting really exhausted. Seeing that bench a few meters ahead, I already knew what was going to happen next.

“Thud!”

I surrender to the seductive prowess of the green wooden bench. I am totally helpless. Like a lover conceding to the comfort of his soulmate’s lap. I can’t help it. I concede to the magnificence of its structure. As if we are two separate souls that found our way back to each other and I don’t want to leave this blissful moment with her… er… the bench. Hahahaha. Again, my colorful imagination gets the best of me.

Now Playing: This Love – Maroon 5

Aaaahhh… such a nice song to help my agitated heart calm down. Adam Lavine is a really good composer or he’s a really jaded person. I mean how could somebody compose an entire album of break-ups, infidelity, longing nights, and heart-break? Almost every single song is about his ex or somebody like that. I mean he’s good-looking and such an artist, how could he be that heart-broken? He should be the one breaking hearts. And to make my shallowness even more valid, the album is named “Songs about Jane”. Weird huh? He probably got it real bad with his ex. He probably popped by her apartment unexpectedly and saw her on top of some bastard. And instead of going insane with hatred, somehow the experience opened this artistic side of his. Hmmmnnn… if something like that happens to me I’ll probably end up in jail for manslaughter. But then again am I that determined enough to put somebody six feet under? Maybe, maybe not. I just hope that I won’t have to go through some shit like that.

Now I’m really scared to fall in love. What if reciprocated love no longer exists? I mean in this world where sex is being served like fast food. Where more than half the population is dissolute and everybody is so open to having sex rather than making love, how can we be so sure that we are going to fall in love with the right person? Maybe getting into a bad relationship helps us determine what we really want in life. But how much heartbreak can a person take? Does this mean that we have to expect lesser and lesser each time we fall in love or should we strive to love greater and greater? I’m thinking way too much now. Maybe I should already head home and get some sleep.

Now Playing: Someday we’ll know – New Radicals

Perfect. Just Perfect.

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